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What are the signs of a domestic violence relationship?

Every relationship is different and it is sometimes hard to pick up the warning signs of whether you or someone you know is in a domestic violence relationship.

Look out for some of the warning signs:

Does your partner, husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend, lover, family member, housemate or carer:

  • Make you feel anxious, useless, humiliated or small?
  • Try to control who you see and when you see them?
  • Take your phone from you to prevent you from calling friends and family?
  • Make you feel scared to say ‘no’ to them?
  • Get jealous very easily, especially if you are talking to someone?
  • Wants to know where you are all the time or where you have been?
  • Ever threaten to hurt you or someone else?
  • Threaten to hurt themselves if you don’t do what they want?
  • Damage your property, like your phone, car, clothes or other belongings?
  • Control what money you have and how you spend it?
  • Pressure you to do sexual things you don’t want to do, or make you feel uncomfortable when they touch you?
  • Stops you from going to the doctor or the chemist?
  • Become violent or aggressive towards you (eg locking you in the house or car, slapping or punching you, hitting or pushing you, pulling your hair, throwing things at you or choking you)?

If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions then these are signs you are not being treated right and you may be in a domestic violence relationship. We recommend that you get some more information and talk with someone about your concerns. (If you need to talk to someone there are friendly staff on site at the Alice Springs Women’s Shelter 24 hours a day if you feel you need to talk or are feeling worried about your or someone else’s safety.)

You should never feel scared or controlled in your relationship. It is your right to feel safe. You do not have to have experienced physical violence to be in a domestic violence relationship. Sometimes emotional abuse can be more damaging and hurtful than physical violence.

If you want to talk to someone you can call any of these 24 hour helplines:

  • 1800 RESPECT or 1800 737 732
  • Violence Free Families: 1800 800 098, 24 hours, 7 days a week
  • The Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (For counselling and information for young people aged between 5 and 25 years old.)
  • The Alice Springs Women’s Shelter 08 89526075

For help and further information for the NT please visit the following website:

1800respect